A Larger Network Is Not the Same as a Stronger Connection

Rob Cross had a large professional network and still felt disconnected. In his Fireside Chat conversation, he described noticing that a growing number of online connections did not automatically create a stronger sense of connection with people.

He responded by trying to offer a conversation when someone connected with him. Listening and learning about the other person became the purpose, rather than simply adding another name.

Cross described friendships, introductions and opportunities to help people as part of what followed. The value came from understanding someone well enough to make the connection useful.

Leave room to be interested

A contact count is easy to see. The quality of a conversation is harder to measure, but it can reveal what another person is working through, what they know and where an introduction might help.

Cross's account offers an editorial reminder for cyber professionals whose communities often span employers and specialties. A useful relationship can begin with curiosity about someone else's work, without a transaction ready to propose.

That does not require accepting every meeting or copying his approach at the same scale. Time remains limited. The idea is to make the interactions you do choose substantive enough to learn something about the person behind the profile.

The story also changes how helping is understood. An introduction becomes more thoughtful when you know why two people might benefit from speaking. Cross described moving toward that kind of understanding by making space for actual conversation. The network became more human when the people in it had room to speak.

Listen to the original conversation with Rob Cross · Read the transcript

From the Fireside Chat archive: original episode published 2022-11-16. This is an editorial reflection on that conversation, not a new interview or an update on the guest’s current role.